Jim Couch

I get to take a break from mocking my own elected officials to recognize the truly dumbarse lawmakers in a neighboring state. After apparently resolving the less important problems facing Kentucky, Representative Tim Couch (mug on right) turned his attention to more substantial issues:

Kentucky Representative Tim Couch filed a bill this week to make anonymous posting online illegal. … If the bill becomes law, the website operator would have to pay if someone was allowed to post anonymously on their site.

What major constitutional doctrine does our sanguine legislator forward as more important than freedom of speech?

Representative Couch says he filed the bill in hopes of cutting down on online bullying.

Ah yes, the 593rd Amendment: Freedom from (anonymous) bullying. Beyond the constitutional, jurisdiction, enforcement, and due process issues this raises, did the good lawmaker even think about the benefits of anonymity which just might offset a little bit of the verbal abuse that plagues our thin-skinned technocrat? Perhaps the twelve step programs, including Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous could change their names. I presume the many online forums for childhood abuse, rape, and spousal abuse survivors would benefit from banishing bullying in their midst. What of online medical forums, corporate whistle-blower and crime reporting sites?

Really, I don’t blame Tim. He obviously had that rare combination of political ambition to help his fellow Kentuckians and ability to spell his name sufficiently close to what appears on legal documents to satisfy the (seemingly low) standards to get on the ballot. My blame is reserved for everyone who voted for him without checking if he was at least sentient.

Can’t legislators get back to the important issues, like proposing legislation that declares Cornhole the official game of Kentucky? Really! Go check! Maybe my high school’s bully was right when he declared that the ones who get bullied are just asking for it.