If "English Only" passes

This Thursday, Nashville votes whether to prohibit public business from being conducted in any language other than English.

In an impassioned speech, Councilman Eric Crafton contends that newcomers to foreign lands must learn the local language. Strangely, this sentiment was not expressed in Cherokee, Iroquois, or Choctaw! Exhibiting his penchant for irony, Crafton delivered the speech in a recently adulterated dialect of the imperialist powers that, for effect, I adopt in this blog post.

Crafton, fresh off a three year crusade affirming Jesus Christ legislatively, is still not content wasting his time in Metro Council on such mundane issues as schools or zoning.

But there's a positive side to this bill if it passes. If English is to be mandated, every time Crafton begins a sentence with "If I was" he can be held in contempt, and required to attend a lecture on subjunctive mood.